This entry was written by a collaborator: Melissa Bernique you can reach by writing a comment after this post or by email .
There is a topic that does not appear on the blog, and yet ... number of childless women are in this situation: having a spouse who has one or more (which is worse) children. Of course, many right thinking people will say we just have to avoid this situation and to choose only companions like us, no children. It is obvious that if the love that was rational and rational, it would be simple to comply with the good counsel. However ... sometimes the heart has its reasons that reason does not know, to quote a well known adage. And without meaning to, without foreseeing ... we find ourselves, to our dismay, Stepmother!
In addition, statistically speaking, from thirty years, the chances of meeting a man without children are dwindling almost exponentially. It is still possible to dismiss out of hand a potential candidate long as the terms "child custody ... ... ex-wife" are mentioned ... but what if the candidate in question, notwithstanding the "default" key, proves to be the ideal man to we? Do we not be tempted to compromise? For some, it's clear: NEXT! For others, myself included, we will accept to give a chance, because you can not blame someone for having a life before us and have made different life choices. But of course the guy left with a "strike" against him ...
So begins the wonderful blended family life. On entry First, I want to be clear: it is easy for anyone, even women who have children and / or magnet many children, starting a new life with a spouse who has children.
However, for the childfree women, I find that there is an additional challenge: we do not, I repeat, any credibility with the child's spouse, and even against the spouse, regarding children, education, or values. Which means, roughly, that in no case have we the right to insurrection us if our spouse's child we disrespect (that said I do it anyway because this is not true that I will let him walk on it). Once we raise the tone and claim a little respect, the spouse will say: "Of course he'll do whatever to piss off ... love you children". Well, obviously I have less patience than the average bear ... so I have no children among other reasons. However, this does not mean I'm not judgmental and common sense, and I am not entitled to respect. But often, women without children alongside the cherubim of his beloved has no voice, because of course we know nothing.
As a solution and compromise to avoid conflicts, I mentioned to my husband that I got involved physically and emotionally from her children, I love my spouse and I am with him, but I did not Badr me the child, who is, for me, the reminder of her old life and in no way a part of his being. This is the man I love, not the father. In short, this means that the outputs at Safari Park, children's parties with Mrs. Ex and even keep the brat ... NO WAY! He understands and respects that, but you can imagine the outcry protests from the entourage that surrounds me ... pro-bébé/enfant In fact, my entourage, I should have the following reasoning: if a woman accepts a man with a child, and must agree to play the mother, even if the child has a mother. Why would it be required, I ask you? It seems that the acceptance in our house, a child (as we ourselves do not want) to another woman (so to have the former in the legs) and often have to pay a greater share of common expenses due to child support is a proper compromise. But no ... in addition, it would want to deal with it and love it like it was ours. Otherwise we are not far from the mother-child martyrdom in Aurora ...
This is to say that he is still very politically incorrect, at least in Quebec, to say that we "tolerate" the only child of our spouse. And it often is when our critics will say: "You'll see, when you gonna get yours, it'll be different ..." Oh misery! You can not stop progress ...
So I hear similar stories from other women? I'd love to read some to see how they live situation, because sometimes I'm going nuts.
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